by Nicole Negrón
Now, that the pesky 1st of the month has passed, we can also move past this idea of the New Year’s Resolution. We’re not making changes, living our best lives, finding joy, etc, because it’s a new year. We can do it on the new hour, after a 3-minute stretch, after we finish drinking the iced coffee we’re halfway through. Let’s do it because we want to, because we should, and because we’ve spent too long not honoring our blessings. Notice I didn’t use the word gratitude.
Gratitude isn’t enough. It’s not sustainable. It will not move you to create lasting habits of joy, productivity, and wellness.
I can be grateful to have a job that I hate, for example, and still do the bare minimum at work. Not to mention, I’ll still be stuck at a job that I hate. Let’s be honest, being grateful usually involves being thankful; it usually involves a mindset shift which I’m not saying is a bad thing, but it’s not a behavioral shift.
A mindset shift is great for coping with circumstances you may not feel you can change, but let’s do more than cope. Let’s do more than survive today. Notice I wrote today—not this year—because we have to start small. We can’t keep trying to achieve goals based on who we want to be: we have to do it based on who we are right now.
Thinking about the year, about your dream life is a big start, and too abstract. To put it in writer terms, the dream is the prologue, and if you haven’t even taken the time to ask yourself why you want something, you’re still in the pre-writing phase.
Let’s say, you know why you want something. Whether that something is to achieve a specific goal or to simply get more organized, the next step is to look at your day, not your year.
What does your actual day look like? How much time do you have—realistically—to do one extra thing? And yes, you should probably start with one, extra, thing. If you regularly stay up until late in the night binge watching TV, you’re most likely not going to wake up at 5 a.m., wash your face, drive to the gym, work out for an hour, drive back, wash your person, make a healthy breakfast, etc.
Your first step might be to watch a half of a season, instead of a full one. That might not sound like progress, but we’re not talking about progress here. We’re talking about where we are right now and taking the first step from that place.
There’s no such thing as skipping step one. You have to honor your abilities to create lasting, positive habits. I can’t offer the entire framework in the scope of this article, but I can offer this: If you could achieve your goal by putting in 30 minutes a day, what would you do? Where would you start? (P.S., make sure your first step and your why are in the same visual plane.) Write out your schedule, add in your must-dos, and include travel time.
If you don’t have 30 minutes, maybe you have 15. If you don’t have 15 minutes, it’s time to start saying no to the things that don’t serve you. Parkinson’s law says that work expands to fill the time you give it so whatever time you have, give that and only that to your first step. Set a timer. Even if you get the teeniest thing done, it’s still more than you would have had you given it zero minutes.
I was a single mother, putting herself through undergraduate school, and working full-time. Ten years later, I was a student (again) who gave birth, and a week later, presented my thesis after working on that thesis through a move, a marriage, a pregnancy, and two job changes. Oh, and throw in depression. I say that to say, it’s possible if you want it and honor your abilities. If you don’t have the ability, then your first step might be to learn something.
Thank you for coming to my TedTalk—just kidding… but come back and visit me here. Whether you’re waiting in line or doing the thing people do when they’re scrolling, check out more of “The Practiced Plan” for more specific steps, tools, and systems. For now, take a deep breath and a sticky note, and practice more than gratitude.
Nicole Negron is a fiction novelist, short story writer, and museum professional from Jersey City, New Jersey. Her published works include A Dream, Faith and Dandelion Seeds, and Evermore. She writes thrillers, drama, speculative fiction, and mysteries that focus on themes of family, women, and BIPOC experiences. Passionate about writing, reading, and fostering accessible educational enrichment for the community, Nicole combines creativity with purpose.
She holds a Bachelor of Arts in English and History from Misericordia University and Master of Arts degrees in Museum Studies from Johns Hopkins University and Fiction Writing from Wilkes University. Currently pursuing a Master of Fine Arts in Creative Writing at Wilkes University, Nicole has completed one novel, begun a second, and written her thesis, The Magic Window: How Writers Use Magical Realism to Survey the Human Condition.
When not immersed in writing or reading, Nicole enjoys spending time with her husband, sons, dog, and extended family or indulging her love of planners, journals, and all things stationery.